I read somewhere that relationships go through times of testing at 30 days, 90 days, 6 months, 1 year, etc.

With every relationship I am in, meanwhile, I stop at that first test in what I have deemed the "thirty day curse;" in short, that's when my relationships end. I'm not quite sure, though, whether it is something I am doing to myself or it is more telling about me as a person (and potential boyfriend). After six years, you'd think I would have figured it out by now.

It started in 2003-ish, when I had my first "grown up" relationship. I got bored around 30 days, dumped him, and moved on. Lather, rinse, repeat -- seven times over. I dumped seven boys in a row at or around 30 days simply because I had grown tired with the whole relationship thing. It tied me down too much.

The seventh, meanwhile, turned out to be a doozy of a dump.

Around that magical day, there were a couple of cracks forming in the perfect veneer of our young love, and, rather than deal with them as a mature adult, I dumped the guy. He floored me. Somewhere along the line, he had come to trust me and become comfortable in our relationship.

I had hurt him. He had placed hope, maybe even love, in me and I had broken his heart.

To this day, I mark that event as one of those life-changing events -- not just from the practical "experience-based learning" point of view, but as a point of departure from karma. I had genuinely hurt him. I think it was more of a shocker that people actually had these feelings for each other -- and that the profundity of joy that can come from love can also hurt you.

Over the next few weeks and months, I produced some of the best writing of my life as I tried to sort out the whole mess in my head.

Soon after, I started dating someone else. At 30 days, eveything was fine, and I liked the boy. At 31 days, he broke up with me. To my own disbelief, he hurt me.

I have been broken up with at 30 days (with one exception) ... get this ... seven times in a row since then.

But back to the modern day.

There are two current players in this awkward stage play known as my life: the Professional and the Goober. Both were warned, and both came back with the exact same line: "Well, I guess I only [insert amount of time] left."

There's something to be said for self-fulfilling prophecies.

Around 30 days, the Professional and I had a drunken-ish conversation at Adonis that effectively ended our brief flirtation; I doubt the worthless trick I brought home that evening helped matters. Since there was no one truly ending the relationship -- that is, no one saying "I don't think this is going to work" -- I count this as a mutual break up. You can begin to see where this is going, symbolically.

The Goober has about one week left -- 8 days, to be precise. I'm starting to think it's time to move on. His newbie-isms are starting to grate, while the juxtaposition of constant attention with insecurity with lack of definition have slid this relationship into the "It's complicated" category on my Facebook.

Oi.

The debt to karma has been paid, now, and I feel my eyes wandering and the cycle starting over again.

I have to wonder if, this time around, I'm going to try to make it to the 90 day mark, but I'm afraid it's just going to be the same thing over again. I've always counselled people that when you find yourself saying "everytime I do something..." or "all my friends are..." or any other negative point about your life, then maybe it's something in you. Does expanding the time period in which the curse plays out do anything more that just expand the time I'm miserable, or should I take it as a personal point that I can't seem to make it to that idealized "LTR" that we all, ostensibly, want? Is it possible that I am not a monogamously oriented person, after all?

I don't know, but I hope that this cycle doesn't keep repeating at differing time spans. It took six years to consider a 90 day relationship.

Eighteen years seems like too long to wait for an actual one-year anniversary; though maybe that's what it will take, for me.

Barry blogs regularly at QueerCincinnati.com. Feel free to email him at queercincinnati@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter.