Overwhelming feeling of love for you right now if you are read -- just happiness!!! :-) *MUAH*

"When did you become a hypocrite?" Libby asked as I handed her an HRC sticker during the Northside Fourth of July Parade.

Just a few weeks before, she and I had harangued a local HRC Steering Committee member at Dayton Gay Pride about the evils of the gay empire -- the Human Rights Campaign. And now? I was promoting their event. In the matter of less than a month, I had become a hypocrite.

Let me be clear: I am no big fan of the HRC. Although I have a certain respect for what they do, my general feelings for them tend towards the negative.

In 2003, three of my friends and I took a trip to Washington, DC and met with the HRC. We were planning two protests against Ohio's upcoming Defense of Marriage Act -- one protest would occur outside of Representative Bill Seitz's office in Cincinnati, and the other would happen on the grounds of the Ohio statehouse.

We went to the HRC and to the NGLTF for assistance. The NGLTF never answered our phone calls, while the HRC welcomed us with open arms.

It was the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

As young queer activists, we wanted to actually mock marriage and its heterosexual roots by protesting with style -- drag queens, glitter, dykes on bikes, the works. Essentially, we wanted to take everything we thought was fabulous about being queer and use it as a stiletto heel to strike down the bonds of legislative injustice.

The meeting with HRC went well, until we got to that point. I remember the exact words that were said to me. "You want people straight America can identify with. You want normal couples."

Normal.

We took their advice, and the protest went on. Though we were disappointed with their reaction, and a little taken aback by their rhetoric, we bowed to the wisdow of those above us.

At both protests, there was no a single drip of media. Even the gay media ignored the statehouse, though John Zeh showed up at the Cincinnati protest. In Columbus, I remember speaking into the microphone and watching a local news channel, all of whom had received our press release (approved by the HRC), pull up to the grounds, sit for a moment, and then move on.

No one knew we were there.

A lot of arguments have been made against the mainstream media's coverage of gay pride parades and events. Notably, detractors say that the only thing that the world sees are drag queens and leather boys, and they are bad for "our" image. So ubiquitous are these arguments, that some drag queens and leather boys have even started to believe it, without understanding that our people embrace a wide spectrum of expressions.

The message is clear: our difference is wrong. No one will accept us unless we are just like them.

I disagree, as drag shows and leather bars are a constant fascination for heterosexuals around the country, and there are many, many straight girls who would rather spend the day around oiled up muscle men grinding on them at a parade than at home with their kids.

Normal.

The Human Rights Campaign lost me at that word. True, I still stuck the bumper sticker on my car as a coded way of saying "YOOHOO! I'm GAY!!!"

But then came ENDA. Oh, how I wish this had come about in two years instead of now.

Politically speaking, the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) will pass easier, even possibly under Bush's nose, as simple employment protections based on sexual orientation. There is a valid argument that says that sexual orientation protections are a jumping off point for future work, and that some courts may even interpret that term to include gender identity and expression -- the definition of sexual orientation in Ohio, for example, includes the latter terminology.

I understand and appreciate that argument, and that gender is a far more difficult concept to grasp. But intellectual laziness on the part of other people does not, to my mind, justify our inability to effectively educate them.

Because, by the HRC endorsing a bill that does not protect gender, the HRC has abandoned the people it says that it works for.

The debate over ENDA's inclusiveness speaks to a wider divide in our community, and the HRC can be seen as the flagship with a single word written on its flag: NORMAL.

Not the "all human expression is varied and beautiful, and, thus, normal" normal; rather, it is "we are just like you."

There's a rant to be made here, by the way, about representation of certain subgroups and minorities within the LGBT community on the local steering committees of the HRC, but it's hard to find a truly diverse organizational board here in the city. Even my former employer, STOP AIDS, has an education department staffed almost primarily by white, gay men.

But back to normality...

To use that as a goal is to achieve marginalization. By endorsing legislation that does not include gender identity and expression in its language, they are abandoning more than just the burdgeoning trans-community -- rather, they abandon all of us. I've said it before: this fight is not about white, middle class men fighting for the simple right to put your partner's picture on your desk. Rather, it is a fight to be who we are and express ourselves as we are.

I should not be worried about my ongoing employment, housing, or any other part of my life, simply because I can be a tad effete.

Rather, the HRC prefers normality and conformity -- the HGTV version of homosexuality.

This is a flip-flop of a previous opinion, as I had previously blogged my support for a sexual orientation-only ENDA, and I was lukewarm on the issue. However, I work in a heterosexual environment now, and work with gay men who I sometimes feel have bought into the corporate queer ideal.

I had to accept that, one day, my own personal expression will put my employment in danger. Not because I can't do my job, but because someone will say "I don't want this queer to take care of me."

Will my job, will my employer, and will my community come up to support me, then?

As a follow up to this, as it was written when it was still "fresh in my head," I have this to say: the HRC is the guardian at the gate for gay politics. It makes me sick and I hate it. But, they do have a touch job to do. Bully on them, at least, for trying; shame on them for not trying harder.

Barry blogs regularly as Queer Cincinnati at QueerCincinnati.com. Barry is also trying to enter the 21st century, so you can also get in touch with him via Twitter or via his blog email -- queercincinnati@gmail.com