Ever wonder why that one gay friend can't seem to cooperate when the group gets together? You're trying to order and he's being the complicated order? A recent study suggests that his ego and his refusal to go along with the group may be a result of too much testosterone. Read more...Testosterone Made Him Do It originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Friday, February 3rd, 2012 at 19:27:30.Permalink | Comment | Email this

Relationships aren't on everyone's radar. And even if they are, many guys stay open to hooking up on the path to whatever they are looking for. Meeting guys for random fun can be a wonderful thing or a complete disaster depending on what you do before, during and after hooking up. Read more...The Hookup Manual: Do's and Don'ts originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Wednesday, February 1st, 2012 at 09:55:32.Permalink | Comment | Email this

There's a new risk of cancer in men from a virus mostly associated with women. HPV is a growing concern for gay men and can lead to anal cancer. New research suggests that what's being called oral HPV can lead to higher risks of throat, neck and head cancers as well. Here's what you should know about oral HPV prevention.A Nasty STD You Didn't Know About originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Thursday, January 26th, 2012 at 13:20:52.Permalink | Comment | Email this

New research suggests that there's more to what you see than you think. Good memory or bad, your ability to recognize a face in a crowd has something to do with who you are (for instance, left-brained or right-brained), but more so where you've been. Read more...Why You Never Forget A Guy's Face originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Monday, January 23rd, 2012 at 16:11:48.Permalink | Comment | Email this

You're out! These are dreaded words in most social circles and group environments, but for the gay loner or shy guy sometimes that's exactly where they want to be. Our lives are becoming increasingly social, where even a trip to the grocery store warrants a status update. Much of our gay lives are defined by social scenes: prides, parties, dating sites, hobby groups, etc. Group implies just that—more than one.So what of the gay guy, the shy one, the loner, that prefers small groups over mass hysteria? Are they outcasts, social morons or freaks? Or are are they as happy as can be? Read more...The Shy Guy, The Gay Loner: If You're Not In, You're Out (Exactly Where You Want To Be) originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Thursday, January 19th, 2012 at 17:22:48.Permalink | Comment | Email this

I'd like to honor Martin Luther King, Jr. Day with a tribute to one of his closest confidants, Bayard Rustin. In 1937, at the age of 25, Bayard Rustin—an openly gay man—started training at the American Friends Service Committee. By 1963 he was one of the most important figures in African-American and glbt history. Bayard Rustin was recruited by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. to organize the Montgomery Bus Boycott and the 1963 March on Washington where King gave his famed "I Have A Dream" speech. Both King and Rustin saw an injustice in this country and the world and worked in peace to create change. On this MLK Day, I think back to the contributions these great men made for me, my family, and this country; and the brevity of Mr. Rustin, who served with our greatest leader at a time when being an openly gay man was met with the same hostility as being a person of color. The magnitude of injustices in the world can be overwhelming, and our individual contributions can often seem insignificant. But like us, Dr. King and Mr. Rustin had no special powers or abilities. They had dreams and an undying commitment to creating change. They then used their strengths of speech and mobilization toward a common cause, efforts that we will forever be greatful for. More about Dr. King's colleague and friend Bayard Rustin after the jump. More: Notable Gay Men in HistoryRemembering Bayard Rustin originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Monday, January 16th, 2012 at 07:46:11.Permalink | Comment | Email this

When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Is it crystal clear with things you wish you could change and fuzzy when it comes to good thoughts about your body? A lot of gay men suffer from body image issues such as Body Dimorphic Disorder that spoil the way we see ourselves. But there is a remedy that just might make you the sexiest man alive.You Just Might Be The Sexiest Man Alive originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Friday, January 13th, 2012 at 15:01:46.Permalink | Comment | Email this

It's almost the middle of January. Can you believe it? The good news is 2012 is well under way. Your resolutions are written down (hopefully) and in process. The bad news: Science says only 12 percent of you will make it to the finish line. But, you can defy the odds with four secrets to making your resolutions a reality. The Secret To Keeping Your Resolutions Alive originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Wednesday, January 11th, 2012 at 13:20:04.Permalink | Comment | Email this

Fear is all around us, especially as gay men. We fear coming out, then when we're out we fear being alone, losing family and friends, and a parade full of other phobias. How do you get over fear?Everything you need to know is in the ultimate fighting ring. New research shows how MMA fighters turn fear into confidence. You too can fight through fear in three moves.Gut Check: 3 Ways To Fight Through Fear originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Saturday, January 7th, 2012 at 20:58:49.Permalink | Comment | Email this

Do you still battle with father-son issues? Have you heard that some are saying "father hunger" or daddy issues are why you're gay? I look into this hunger for masculinity to see if there is truth in the testosterone. Read more...Can You Really Let Your Daddy Issues Go? originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Thursday, January 5th, 2012 at 18:20:36.Permalink | Comment | Email this

Experts say LGBT people have a better chance at happiness and success when we have supportive family members and friends. According to researchers, family can create protective bubbles for us against negativity and destructive behavior. One thing the experts overlook is that this "protection" is contingent upon acceptance, which can turn a hero into a victim. Read more...The One Mistake You're Making With Family originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Thursday, January 5th, 2012 at 00:30:07.Permalink | Comment | Email this

Top or bottom doesn't say much about what we want in the bedroom. The words describe certain obvious activities, but they say little about desire. "> Guy-on-guy sex isn't all about who's penetrating whom. We're men, so often that's the easiest way to define it. A top isn't always the most dominant position in bed. For some guys, bottoming is about dominance. Likewise on the flip side. There are levels of intimacy we desire but few talk about. A guy who likes to top and cuddle or a bottom with little interest in their partner's satisfaction isn't exactly on the most wanted list. It doesn't mean, however, that they don't exist or that they aren't the silent majority. Few of us are inclined to say what we really want in public, perhaps for fear of turning off a potential partner. But, now's your chance to take the Sex Survey and share your desires.What Men Want: The Sex Survey originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Tuesday, January 3rd, 2012 at 14:18:59.Permalink | Comment | Email this

Haven't you heard? Men don't cry, so man up! This applies to you too, gay man. It isn't that you like other guys; it's that you are emotional and weak. Sound familiar? It's what society tells us in many silent and not-so-quiet ways at every turn of our day. The message is so strong we take over in private and tell ourselves this, and frankly even more damaging things. New research shows that those voices in society have it all wrong. While culture is allergic to men and emotions; it's the man that can express his emotions and empathize with those of others that is most successful. Read more...Are You Emotional Enough? originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Monday, January 2nd, 2012 at 18:42:28.Permalink | Comment | Email this

Goals are great, but harder to achieve when you share them with others, according to recent research. We all know the discouraging impact negative comments have on our motivation, but surprisingly researchers at New York University say positive affirmation can have equally negative effects.The recommendation? Keep your goals to yourself. See why...Want To Succeed? Keep Your Goals To Yourself originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Friday, December 30th, 2011 at 14:13:18.Permalink | Comment | Email this

We're all shopaholics with a meticulous eye for color coordination. Or are we? I must admit that I've known a few straight men that turn both male and female eyes with their sense of taste in clothing and home design. Even so, gay men in general tend to put more effort into their gear and dwellings than our straight cousins. "> This isn't to say a man's sexuality can be determined by his eye for design, but good style tends to be a matter of personal taste, and not just for the guy wearing it. If there is a trend, there are gay men who are the first to wear it. There are others who make their own trends, then wait for the world to follow. Outside of these two groups are guys who are dedicated to their favorite pair of jeans or sweats and could care less if they're featured in the next video. Which are you and, for the purposes of this survey, where does your ideal man fall on the design scale? Would I walk into his apartment and think it's a showroom or is his house an extension of the frat dorm? What about his knack for clothing? Is he the only one you know that can rock plaid and polka dots at the same time and still turn eyes in envy or do the simplicity of his gym sneakers turn you on? I've asked about your taste in a man's spirituality, his nutrition, and his character. Now, what about his sense of style? What Men Want: The Materials and Style Survey originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Thursday, December 29th, 2011 at 20:48:00.Permalink | Comment | Email this

As gay men, how can we understand ourselves without knowing what motivates other men? One researcher says the answer to understanding men is found in just four personality types. The idea is that if your boyfriend or dating hopeful fits into one of these boxes, then you'll know him better and can predict what he'll do next? I ask if a Cosmo quiz for male personality types really exists and what happens when we fall out of line?The 4 Personality Types in Men originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Tuesday, December 27th, 2011 at 20:06:39.Permalink | Comment | Email this

We're days off of Christmas, one of the most crazed Christian holidays. So while we're in a sharing mood why not talk about gay men and religion? Gay men and religion have a sorted relationship. Religion is used too often to demonize us and our relationships even though many guys hold religious and spiritual beliefs in higher powers, as they define them. ">Underneath the judgement, however, are gay men who have relationships with varying faiths, religions, spiritual practices. Many remain dedicated, regardless of what houses of faith say about men loving men. Others choose personal spiritual relationships that are more one-with-one and less one-against-many. Some don't practice at all. Regardless of religious or spiritual practice, how important is it in your relationship? Are you comfortable maintaining your beliefs in a relationship where your boyfriend thinks otherwise? Would you share an inter-faith relationship? Or, as opposite, is a religion a deal breaker? Next: The Materials and Style Survey What Men Want: The Spirituality Survey originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Friday, December 23rd, 2011 at 20:27:15.Permalink | Comment | Email this

Yesterday I wanted to know what character traits you look for in a man. Today I want to take a look at the body. But I don't want to just step outside. We're more than our physical characteristics and so the inside matters too. For a long time, probably since birth, we're told that real men are this tall, this wide, this muscular and with this posture. Real men grill, they don't eat tofu. A man's man knows that the steak is king on plate not the salad. A guy's guy only works on the outside because he's strong enough to tackle what's inside on his own. But, what about you and I? We're men. Real men that may not fit all of this characteristics. "> Often what's seen on the outside is a reflection of what's happening underneath the skin. But this isn't always the case. A fit person doesn't always have a thin frame and rock hard muscles. A lousy fast food diet isn't always a fast ticket to extra pounds. Besides, I may consider a fast food diet as lousy and you may love it. Good nutrition can be seen a number of ways outside of the body, but doesn't always equal a standard physique. Now, for the purposes of this poll we're not defining a man as masculine or being a top instead of a bottom or being into sports instead of theater. (We're going to get into how you feel about perceptions of masculinity and femininity in an upcoming survey). I'm interested now in how we as men who like, love and have sex with other men value how guys take care of their complete physical health. How do they deal with what goes into it? What do they do about the outside? How do they take care of themselves when things go wrong? Do they care at all? Do you? So, let's hear what's happening inside of your ideal man's body. Moreso, how do you like your man to take care of himself? Next: The Spirituality SurveyWhat Men Want: The Body Survey originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Thursday, December 22nd, 2011 at 15:12:05.Permalink | Comment | Email this

I'm on of those starry-eyed guys. Some would call me a dreamer. Despite my eagerness to grumble about the world on its rear end, deep down I believe that there is a place of happiness for all of us if we can just get over that one thing I've grown to hate most: labels. " align="left" hspace="10"> It's easier to use them to describe groups of people or individuals. The problem with generals, however, is that the majority usually wins. What I mean is, when enough people label us as gay men, for instance, as this or that it becomes our living stereotype. Don't believe me? Go ask your mom or 10-year-old niece to draw a picture of a gay man and see what they come up with. Similarly, we paint pictures of ourselves, especially when it comes to what we look for in other men. Raise your hand if you've spent most of your gay dating time with a fuzzy picture of what you want in a man? What about what kind of man you are or want to be? OK, everyone except that two guys in the corner put your hands down. Frequent trips to LOGO, online, the bar or gym would make us think there is only one type of guy all gay men want. Yes, you know him. He's our Wheaties box standard of gorgeous, fit, perfect against which we gauge ourselves. We tell ourselves we can't date him. The media tells us we can't live without him. But do we really want him? And if so, who is he exactly? Let's clear this up. As the year closes, I'm going screen-to-screen asking you what you like in other guys. I'm talking about inside, outside and all around to come up with a list of what gay men want in other men. The first survey up, the Character poll. Now's your chance to tell the world what you want's important to you! Next: The Body Survey What Men Want: Character Survey originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Wednesday, December 21st, 2011 at 19:52:34.Permalink | Comment | Email this

Flipping the top to a bottle of lube is a good habit for most gay men who have anal sex, but researchers warn that your favorite lubricant may not be as safe as you think... Read more.Your Lube Might Not Be Safe originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Tuesday, December 20th, 2011 at 13:15:30.Permalink | Comment | Email this